the lights are still on

YOURE FUCKING STUPID.

FUCK EVERYONE I WANT TO FUCKING DIE.

I just lost intro to poetry to an evening section of r & w 2 because that would put me over 18 credits. Not excited to re-take drawing two during the spring semester, wonder what i’ll have to give up for it. 

fuck, i wish i could’ve just done it right the first time. but i can never do anything right the first time, not my car, not my first love. I think I did high school right and i surely did my drivers test right however not the ID right the first time ugh, I took that picture like a dozen times but only because the lady kept having me re-take it.

jake sweeney told me i can still get my father to co-sign for the astra since my loans are in deferrment.  i would love to have that 2008 astra.

you dont work, you get to play housewife and run errands for dad. you’re a secretary, chauffeur, mother and you get to read books, watch tv and play on the computer all damn day every fucking day. so tell me how you wish everyone would knock off the attitude one more time. we’re the only ones who work in this house now. i understand that when we were little and incapable of working and father was an active alcoholic that he blew most of his money on beer and you were on your own, but we’re all working now to support ourselves and each other. so excuse fucking me if im a little irritable when i decide to drop my best friend off of work after a full day and some bitch decides to make a dead stop after everyones speeding up to the speed limit of 55 and i slam on my brakes in order to not hit the car in front of me that’s already begun to swerve off the road because they’re facing the same shit and my muffler decides to detach and fucking fall to the road so then I have to drive as close as i can to advance auto parts and buy bungee cords (but only after i try tying the muffler up with a hair band i found in my explorer first and it shortly melted through) to hoist it up so it doesnt completely drag, drop edie off, and then try to come home, but end up taking the wrong turn and go the long way, wait twenty fucking minutes because construction is going on and then cautiously make it my way back home. all because i can’t have a fucking car because your credit sucks and no one else will cosign a car for me since dad’s cosigning my student loans already and fuck this fucking bullshit im fucking done with life kill me fucking now please.


so pissed the explorer didnt explode and i’m still alive right now.  

apply for loans/scholarships/school moniez.
you have half, just need the other half of the tuition. 

all my money I killed myself for is quickly diminishing.
All for a ‘95 jeep, contacts, tattoos and other odd essentials.
Luckily my parents haven’t asked me for any money yet.

still need to:

• call minneapolis about my pay check 
• call subaru about job (tomorrow)
• call back those one people and set up an appointment (tomorrow)
• call/email darrin about the astra
• email jen about r&wII
• possibly look for job in minneapolis
• look for cars in minneapolis
• scan gmas photo in for joe
• schedule tattoos with kevin/joe with bobbie
• transfer title with sam/pay off jeep (friday)
  
  

I wont be getting a car to take back to Minnesota this summer,

I’ll just rent a car to go back up to Minnesota and buy a car in Minnesota.

And buy a jeep for 1,000 for Ohio.

Love.. my.. life. Ugh. 

not really no.

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What the hell is it?